Thursday, August 14, 2008

Society - Rich Girls, Handsome Milkmen

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Rich Girls, Handsome Milkmen

A south Delhi girls runs off with a doodhwaala.

[Text by Mayank Austen Soofi; picture by Sonu Mehta]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a big car in south Delhi must be in want of a boyfriend with a bigger car in south Delhi.

Early in August, 2008,, turning the rule upside down, a 22-year-old girl, a resident of the posh East of Kailash, ran away with her Mr Darcy. But this boyfriend had no bungalow in Vasant Vihar, no farmhouse in Chattarpur. Instead, he was a doodhwaala!

The handsome milkman was delivering milk to the girl’s house for six months. “She became close to him and they fell in love,” said a police officer who got embroiled in their affair after the runaway couple made some pre-wedding shopping through a family friend’s debit card.

The Delhi Walla decided to check out if this episode has stirred fear in the hearts of south Delhi parents. “I’ll be horrified if God forbid, my daughter runs away with a courier,” says Okhla resident Ms Rakhshanda Jalil, a well-known writer and mother of two young daughters. “While this incident is too sad, I do feel that raising young children in this city is a 24/7 hazard. There are no certainties in life,” she says. “You don’t know how things will turn out.”

However, in this increasingly materialistic age where love comes padded with a fat bank balance, just why would a girl who could have any white-collar executive as her date, fall for a blue-collar boy?

“There are instances when emotional sensibilities overwhelm the socially driven values,” says Dr Gorav Gupta, senior consultant psychiatrist with Apollo hospital, Sarita Vihar. “Sometimes a person’s family circumstances grow messy and she hangs on to anyone who can get her out of that nest.”

“I am definitely getting my milk from Mother Dairy,” says Ms Rama Chaudhary, a resident of Defence Colony. But she is not really scared by milkmen. “The most serious threat to my 21-year-old are the gym instructors. They are suave, articulate, tall and well-built. Their close proximity with my daughter during the workout could possibly turn to an infatuation,” she adds.

Ms Pearl Toppo, a 24-year-old girl who lives with parents in a four-room DDA apartment in Vasant Kunj, confesses having a soft corner for a soft-spoken boy who sits in the reception of her neighborhood gym. “He side-parts his hair, has chocolate looks, grey eyes, and he is not muscular,” says Pearl who doesn’t like muscular guys. “I would love to fall for him but his problem is he can’t speak English.”

“My driver is not fluent in English but he is very hot,” says 20-year-old Ms Priya, owner of a Hyundai Accent who lives in Panchsheel Park. “Being from the hills, he has that tough, chiselled look.” While commuting long distances in the city, Ms Priya sometimes is tempted to get chattier with him. Any chance she may fall in love with the driver? “To be in love, I need to connect with and relate to the person, which is hard to do with a driver."

Amidst the ‘hot’ drivers and cooks, Ms Jalil reminds you of what goes through parents’ lives if their children resort to such acts. "It’s a personal tragedy for the family."

Some names have been changed to protect privacy.


applepiecrust said...

It's a tragedy for society that love across class boundaries be called a tragedy.

Anonymous said...

After reading this blog, it feels like that dhoodhwala is not a human being. When I was in India I had the same mentality, but here in Western countries, life is different. Everyone is equal. Person working in a factory and the executive of that factory may be different financially but they don't look at them as cheap.
When I visited India in March of 2008, I noticed people still treat poor hard working people badly. I agree that the girl might have some circumstances due to which they have decided to run away. In western countries people don't run away they just live freely. People in India copy western world in lots of way but their thinking is still typical India.
I m not here to offend anyone, but we have to treat everyone equally no discrimination you know. It's good to see that Mayank always picks different subjects for his blog. I would recommend him to use his blog for inspirational purpose. Write something on the Indian gold medalist winner in Olympics. I am NRI but still proud of India of winning gold medal for the first after long time.

Anonymous said...

By Indian mobocratic standards, the girl ought to be stoned to death - not in the South Delhi way, idiots! In the Afghan way. For having brought such utter shame to our delicately maintained impression of living a life better than people in other parts of the city. Alas! The sad truth is love conquers all, and despite the 'shame' and the theft they committed, the two will probably continue to love each other. Sad ending, mais c'est la vie, non?

Za'eem said...

All respect lost for Rakhshanda Jalil. An author, one would think of sensitivities and sensibilities. Not for this writer, who has just attributed to classicism once more. What milkmen can not provide love for your daughter? Does money always bring security? Love does not come with insrances -- madam, it is destined. It could happen to your daughter or mine falling in love with a courier, milkmen or garbage walla. You must not plague your mind with so much hate. As for being an author, not in my book shelf. You may never know what holds in anyone's destiny, one must not act superior because one has monetary securities. Just a thought.

Za'eem Shujaat

Anonymous said...

I'm not so sure that western countries are all that egalitairian... I'm a western expat living in Delhi and first read about the dhoodhwalla while sitting in my car on my way to work. While it's true that the incredible - and to western people quite shocking - abyss that looms i India between the wealthy and the poor is much less present in, say, Europe, egalitarianism only goes to a certain point. Very few of my acquaintances and friends started relationships (not considering short flings that were never too serious to begin with) with people who don't move in the same circles, share the same interests etc. This is a natural thing. The main difference is that, where the main dividing lines in India seem to be drawn along the financial aspects and the family, in Europe at least it's more of an educational frontier that divides. Never mind if my parents are labourers and the other's partners lawyers or so, as long as we both have a university degree and a good job seems to be the morale.

Is this a bad thing? I think not. The one thing that should be more taken care of (at least in my humble opinion)is that the chances for development that everyone gets at the outset (education) are equal.

Anyway, my wife comes over next month, I'll make sure the dhoodhwalla is old and half blind ;-)

Happy independence day!

Kartikey said...

good story Mayank : )

Neyaz A. Farooquee said...

Money doesnt provide guaranteed security but it increases the probability and every parent wants his son or daughter to be with 'well to do' match.
And its not about doodhwaala or laundrywaala, its about education. In India its truth that mostly uneducated youths take to this kind of jobs. if he'd been educated, most probably he'd have prefered to be jobless than to sell doodh, in india. And delhiwallah had been one blog less.

sheevum..... said...

does any one has to be garduate n elite to fall in luv....
mrs jalil is jst giving rise to racism n class discrimination..
i fear dat these people have such
loose mentality...
as far my views love i suppose is not planned...its jst sudden no boundation for it...
bt make sure you making right choice..

Anonymous said...

I agree with applepiecrust. I've been in India for almost 2 years now and it's a shock ppl being treated according to classes


My dear brothers and sisters who ever talks of material possession here plz take a break out of it for god shake. Definitely merger cannot take place between two companies working on different lines but as far as human relationships are concerned there should be no bar on whom should we love and whom we should not. A preplanned love cannot be termed a love. We people in India are so much engrossed in racism and caste difference that we are moving far away from mental peace. Forceful marriage or obstructing some people to marry who are in love gives rise to emotional and physical infidelity, extra marital affairs, etc.. And mind you my friends emotional infidelity is the most dangerous.

In short dekho bhaiya, jo hona tha wo ho gaya and jo hona hai wo ho kar rahega. Parents of the girl must must accept their daughter's choice with all respect and should plan for a secure future of the couple. Bhaiya paise wale ho toh apne damaad ko kutch atcha kaam hi dila do. Help him opening up his own dairy. Let you and your daughter and her hubby flourish.

All the best. for more suggestions you may contact me at 9958865388 (Sambit)