Thursday, June 11, 2009

Campus Life - Dream Dating in Delhi University

The Delhi walla's pretension in writing makes me want to lodge a bullet in his balls - Blogger Nimpipi, the woodchuck chucks
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Campus Life – Delhi University Dreams

Different types, different needs.

[Text and picture by Mayank Austen Soofi]

Last night I dreamt that Delhi University (DU) had a classified section on its website where students were actively seeking dating partners. Full details here:

At St. Stephen's
SHAKESPEARE-READING ENGLISH HONS BOY craves intelligent conversation, spontaneous laughter, and amorous sparks. Had a girlfriend but her marks were way below the cut-off percentage. Now looking for an adventurous spirit to take evening walks in the Ridge. Knowledge of eating the ‘mince’ with fork and knife is a must.

At Lady Shri Ram College for Women
DEVOTED FEMINIST, likes discussing Simone de Beauvoir and Susan Sontag. Passion for stray dogs and fast driving. Looking for a tall, broad-shouldered, guitar-playing intellectual. Would love to learn French together in Alliance Francaise. No moustache.

At Hans Raj College
EGALITARIAN, ACTOR, Maggi-eating, fecklessly romantic, Karl-Marx reading, K-Nags regular. You must be THE college babe. Any college.

At Sri Venkateswara College
NATTILY-DRESSED CHICK LIT FAN, fit girl, GK-I regular, handbag junkie seeks a financially secure boy with an equally big car. Just like Mr Big in Sex and the City. Geeks need not respond.

At Jesus & Mary College
FASHIONABLE, SLENDER, brand-conscious, aspiring model seeks a well-dressed IIM-type man. No doctors and engineers. Those with psychology notes must apply during exam time.

At Kirori Mal College
ACTOR, INTELLECTUAL, creative, argumentative, mostly seen in a Fabindia kurta and designer stubble. Tell me if you are artsy, buy skirts in Dilli Haat and fond of Shaw and Beckett. Would prefer someone from KMC or D-School.

At Miranda House
GRACEFUL, ALLURING, Wodehouse-reading, IHC-hopping, backpack-carrying girl with kohl-lined eyes. Call me if you are a Stephanian or a member of the British Council library.

At Janki Devi Memorial College
INTELLIGENT, STUDIOUS, homely girl, nose pierced, hair coloured, enjoys shopping in Karol Bagh. Would love to be with a well-off Mills & Boon kind of character. No flamboyant man, please. Would love to share significant other’s interest in music, dance and sociology.

At Hindu College
PASSIONATE, LOVING INTELLECTUAL girl with strong political views. Regarded by many as a visionary. Fascinated by D-School. Has an I-don’t-care attitude. Write only if you are a boy and carry books and sport long hair. Extra points if you are in Stephen’s.


LumousP said...

you sure, you saw all these in your dream, Austen? ;)

Snobster said...

This is the best.
Excellent..Let's see where do I land :P

dating said...

Dating is the best thing i can think of and dating in delhi is where i am thinking of.

Pareshaan said...

Mr. Soofi, your blog and the pictures on it arean absolute pleasure to peruse.
Special mention: you run-ins with Ms. roy and her "oh-so slender" legs.
Congratulations Sir.

Ibanov, Sir Rekaf said...

Tall? No. Broad-shouldered? No. Guitar-playing? No.
That rules LSR out.

Financially secure? No. Big car? No. Geek? Yes.
So much for Venky.

Well-dressed? No. IIM-type? No. Engineer? Yes.
And there goes JMC.

Stephanian? No. British Council member? No.
No chance @ Miranda.

Mills & Boons type? No. Well-off? No. Flamboyant? Yes. Interested in dance? No.
Not Janki Devi even!

D-School? No. Stephens? No.
I'm out of here!

Toolika Wadhwa said...

only the colleges? what, now the departments are too boring places for people to want to date? come on!!!

Reeta Skeeter said...

haha creative juices and all that

pinak dattaray said...

loved ur article ...saw it in HT..just hav got 1 nigger...bein an i hope to hav a gal from DU ever?

Analytically Demented said...

Brilliant. Totally. Can simply cut-paste an ad for myself.

Anonymous said...

Thank You Mr Soofi for that generous dose of stereotyping. Anybody who knows the university a little better than you do would be absloutely baffled at your sweeping generalizations and easy slotting. Do some real research if you can buddy!

Anonymous said...

As long as one is studying, one doesn't need to date - you have many friends you see everyday. It is when you finish studies that dating is significant.

Mr. Soofi, you missed out Maitreyi College. It wins the 'Best Garden in DU' award every year! Where : Opposite JMC.

It is an 'all girls' college (thank god for them), don't go there without an escort, you'll be mobbed ;)

Rajiv said...

are RAMJAS kahaan gaayaa ,yaar??:P

Grace Personified said...

I am tempted to agree with Miss (safe to presume?) Anon. as far as the stereotyping bit is concerned. A fan of most of your articles, I was disappointed by this one.

namrata khetrapal said...

Very interesting!
Well, its actually true!
Though as a Mirandian I would like to point out that Khalsa boys get to date MH girls more than their Stephenian counterparts!
Shall we thank Tom uncle for that? :D

ami said...

At the risk of starting an inter-college battle, LSR wins the Best Garden in DU every year :P We aren't allowed to even look at the lawn for a grand two months before the judges come to peruse it! Last year princi went into a tizzy for losing it once. Hee :)

Dating said...

What, now the departments are too boring places for people to want to date?

KKaamils said...

I miss you India!! Wish the study period in India never came to an end and I could have stayed within you forever. Time spent in Delhi sometimes make tears roll when I think of you, Delhi.
I will come back to you. Your atmosphere, your culture, your food, your mornings and evenings, the friends you gave me are calling me to come back.
I love you Delhi and I miss you!

Sanhita said...

Try Maitreyi College :)